User blog:Nikolai Banks/Cobra Convo

Serpentor: Blunderers! Fools! We possess power greater than any on Earth! Yet our conquests are stripped from us on every front! Our most dangerous enemy is NOT G.I. Joe but YOUR collective incompetence!

Cobra Commander: Hogwash!

Serpentor: WHAT? You dare say?

Cobra Commander: The fault, most imperial Serpentor, lies not within us, but within YOU! Your leadership has been pompous, pusillanimous and pathetic!

Baroness: What did he say!

Zarana: He's gone batty!

Dr. Mindbender: That's treason!

Tomax: I don't believe it!

Serpentor: Yes, leadership IS at the very heart of this matter. But it's not mine that's inadequate, Cobra Commander, it is YOURS! Your ego driven stupidity has converted victory into catastrophe FOR THE LAST TIME!

Cobra Commander: Go ahead. Make me the scapegoat. My loyal subordinates could testify to my superb stewardship of Cobra. But you don't have the courage to let them speak!

Serpentor: Wrong again! Defend him if you can.

Cobra Commander: Indeed they shall! You first, noble Destro.

Destro: Militarily speaking, it is only fair to say that Cobra Commander is a world-class... buffoon.

Cobra Commander: WHAT? Baroness, Dr. Mindbender, brave Xomat and Tomax... you won't let Destro's treacherous assassination of my character go unchallenged, will you?

Dr. Mindbender: Certainly not! Destro forgot to mention your frequent displays of cowardice!

Cobra Commander: Oh!

[Cut to Pythona emerging from the lake and breaking into Cobra's headquarters and back again to the other Cobras blaming Cobra Commander for their repeated failures]

Baroness: And you botched our desert campaign!

Destro: We had won but YOU countermanded my order!

Baroness: You meddling brought us defeat! Again and again and again!

Dr. Mindbender: You're not just a fool, you're Cobra's curse!

Tomax: Inept!

Xamot: Insufficient!

Tomax, Xamot: Inexcusable!

Cobra Commander: Unsubstantiated fantasy! Lies, lies, LIES!